Trauma and dissociation by Marc Handelman, PhD

Dissociation is fundamentally a disconnection from oneself. It is an important task of psychotherapy to help the traumatized individual integrate disconnected aspects of self. Addressing what may have felt unbearable can be painful, and the work must not push too hard or the person is at risk of being retraumatized. Continue reading →

Trauma and memory by Marc Handelman, PhD

For people who have experienced a trauma, this issue of memory — and trusting memory — is particularly difficult, and carries an incredible weight and importance. When a traumatic event happens, the experience can be dissociated. Owning these memories is very difficult, and painful. When the events were happening in the past, people may have told you that they were not happening. Continue reading →

Expect the unexpected: Living with alcoholics or dysfunctional families by Marc Handelman, PhD

Children in dysfunctional families learn a lot of lessons: don’t tell; don’t have friends over; keep a close watch for signs of an explosion; try not to be noticed; be ready to fix everything. Life is chaotic, unpredictable, violent, and traumatic. Wounds need to be healed, but recovering from physical and emotional abuse is certainly possible. People often need psychotherapy. Many find comfort in self help groups. Continue reading →

Female Therapist or Male Therapist? by Marc Handelman, PhD

When looking for a psychotherapist people often wonder whether they should choose a male therapist or a female therapist. While choosing a therapist of the same sex often seems the obvious thing to do, the best choice may be counterintuitive. In situations where a person has had serious trauma, such as sexual or physical abuse it is often important to choose a therapist who evokes the least anxiety and the most trust. This is often a therapist of the opposite sex of the abuser… Continue reading →

Codependency: Being dependent on others’ dependency by Marc Handelman, PhD

There may not be a simple test, or a clear marker, but if you consistently put someone else’s needs first, to the detriment of your own, you may be codependent. What is the boundary around codependency and how do you work through it? Continue reading →